I miss the 80s, back when federal law mandated that no less than 3 out of every 7 female characters appear nude in every film. In this particular film, we have such appearances from Debi Sue Voorhees (actual name), Juliette Cummins (actual name) and Debra Wood (actual name). Of course, I’m talking about Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, a cross between every other Jason film and the crayon scribblings from the coloring book of Agatha Christie’s mentally handicapped younger brother. The movie is indeed a whodunnit, and to its credit, I have to admit that the conclusion, the Scooby-Doo-esque unmasking of the assailant, did surprise me. I honestly expected the killer to turn out to be the 12-year-old, sassy black kid.
This film is also pretty educational. Apart from teaching me that dead bodies still breathe, it also taught me a thing or two about survival. Twice in the movie, characters go to take a shit, and both times, they don’t wipe after finishing. They just pull their pants right up. Within seconds, Jason appears to butcher them. Similarly, every nude scene that occurs is a harbinger of our masked killer and the blood in his wake. Coincidence? I think not! So remember kids, if you don’t want to summon a psychotic serial killer, never undress for strangers and always wipe your poo-pipe.
All in all, it’s a fun film to watch with some buddies and a few beers. Definitely beats anything crapped out by Judd Apatow, at least. Caps and clips of two of the scenes are below, and the exclusive gif is on the official Tumblr. The third scene wasn’t long enough to warrant a video. Sadly, no blu-ray has been released, so all I’ve got to work with is low-res. But fear not, for coming up next, I’ll be covering the many nude scenes from 2009’s reboot of the series, and yes, those will be HD.