In the previous post – the one where I introduced the film and put up Julianna Guill’s killer sex scene – you may remember I referred to the new Friday the 13th as being as much a porno-lite as any other film in the series. I actually take that back now. A better descriptor would be “even more of a porno-lite”. The casting director in this one didn’t even bother looking for struggling actresses desperate for their big breaks. Instead, he took the two secondary nude scenes straight out of Playboy magazine.
America Olivo – Playboy magazine, June 2009. Near the beginning of the movie, the writers give us the iconic campfire scene. You know the one. First the ominous scary story, then the campers split up, then the boobies come out, then someone gets an organ massage with a machete. The boobies in this case belong to singer, actress and quasi-pornstress, America Olivo. Sadly, there’s a little too much silicone for my liking, but the film placates fake boob detractors by giving us a lesson on the wonders of GPS technology throughout the scene. Good choice, writers. Can you imagine how much less sense it would have made if the monologue was about fluorescent lighting or, God forbid, semi-conductors? I shudder at the very thought.
Willa Ford – Playboy magazine, March 2006. I actually have mixed feelings about this nude scene. On one hand, it fulfills the trifecta of douchbaggery – containing a flashy boat, wakeboarding, and a frat boy yelling “WAOHOOO!”. On the other hand, the wakeboarder is a naked girl and the frat boy dies, so I suppose it redeems itself. Anyway, the caps and clips for both scenes are below. Sorry about the choppy editing in the Willa Ford video. I had to cut out a lot of non-nude parts to keep the file reasonably sized.